The articles in this blog represent my own belief, thoughts and walk with Adonai and the things He teaches me. Do not copy or publish any of my articles without my permission.

Thank you for your understanding,
Bat Melech בת מלך

Tuesday, May 23, 2017

Daughter



She looks upon the heavens with fears still lurking
Tainting her every hope, her waters murking...
In spite it all, her faith is still working
Reminding her she is the daughter of The King.

“I know Your Path – don’t let me stray!
I know your words… teach me to pray…
Don’t let me run away, inspire me to stay…
Help me to act the conqueror You say I am, and not like prey!”

Her fears are loud, “you’re just grasping at straws!”
The mocker just reminds her of all her flaws,
And even if she’s well acquainted with its claws
She knows The Law from all the other laws…

Some, on the Way tell her “You don’t know the meaning of grace –
You talk of Law, you mock the Faith -  you’re a disgrace!”
But she is deaf to all their taunts, her mind is on the race
Her only concern is HaShem’s will to emplace.

She counts everything as loss for the joy of knowing Him
She doesn’t trust her righteousness, she knows it’s dim
She’s just a daughter filled with longing for home to the brim,
And she’ll do anything to get there, even lose a limb!


Bat Melech בת מלך
 Cristina כריסטינה

Wednesday, May 17, 2017

I know



This morning my sister in law Sanda, sent me a link to a song and when I saw it I was like, ‘yeah, ok… I’ll listen to it later’. I went on with my routine but it kept nagging me to go check it out. Now, I’m not gonna lie, I don’t listen to Christian music much, in fact I hardly ever do, because it feels to me that it all sounds the same. But this video had lyrics on it as well and that helped, because for some reason I relate more to words than I do to sounds. The lyrics to the song go like this:

“Oh, my soul
Oh, how you worry
Oh, how you're weary, from fearing you lost control
This was the one thing, you didn't see coming
And no one would blame you, though
If you cried in private
If you tried to hide it away, so no one knows
No one will see, if you stop believing

Oh, my soul
You are not alone
There's a place where fear has to face the God you know
One more day, He will make a way
Let Him show you how, you can lay this down
'Cause you're not alone

Here and now
You can be honest
I won't try to promise that someday it all works out
'Cause this is the valley
And even now, He is breathing on your dry bones
And there will be dancing
There will be beauty where beauty was ash and stone
This much I know

I'm not strong enough, I can't take anymore
(You can lay it down, you can lay it down)
And my shipwrecked faith will never get me to shore
(You can lay it down, you can lay it down)
Can He find me here
Can He keep me from going under

Oh, my soul
You're not alone.” – Casting Crowns – Oh my soul


Our biggest fear is being alone. Whether it is alone socially, alone in our feelings or alone in our faith, we fear being alone. 

When it comes to our walk with Adonai, we get scared as well. We’re in a relationship with an unseen Being that is silent most of the time and sometimes we try to guess His thoughts, because we don’t know for sure. And when we choose to hope in Him for a certain thing or the circumstances we face, we’re often faced with a little voice inside that comes and asks “where is your God? You’ve been hoping and believing your heart out and He’s silent… what if God is not with you in this thing? What if it was just your selfishness that wanted this? What if you thought you’re more special than you actually are? What if you’re on your own in this thing? What if you’re ALONE?” 

Now, I haven’t been on this earth that long and I can’t say that I have learned all that much about life in general. There are so many things I don’t know that it’s daunting sometimes. Even in the things I do know, I haven’t considered all sides and all perspectives so I am not sure how credible that makes me in any of my statements. Do I know everything there is to know about HaShem? (Laughing out loud!) NO. But even I, with the little I do know and understand about Him, I can tell you that the little voice that asks you all those things is lying to you. How do I know that? 

When Avraham Avinu was talking with Adonai, in Bereishit (Genesis) chapter 15, HaShem made a covenant with Avraham. And commentators of the Scriptures will have all kinds of interpretations of that passage, some more accurate than others, but I am not gonna talk about the covenant right now, maybe in a different post. Right now I’m going to focus on verse 12 where it says that while HaShem was making this covenant with Avraham, “and see, a horror, great darkness fell on him.” Why? Avraham was in the presence of Ha Kadosh Baruch Hu (The Holy One Blessed is He), how can it be that He was overcome with horror? And most importantly, He was in the presence of The Light how could he be surrounded by darkness?  And this is not the only time HaShem does this. When He made His covenant with Israel at Har Sinai (Mount Sinai) the people were horrified. There was darkness and loud noises and the people got scared. (Read Exodus 19, Deuteronomy 4)
 
You would think that the moment when HaShem makes a covenant would be the time to shine brightly and use everything at His disposal to attract the person that He wishes to make a covenant with. Why on earth would you turn off the light and use the scary effects? 

Because He knows we’re gonna start a journey with an unseen God in a scary place and unless you learn to know Him in darkness you’re going to walk your entire journey wondering if He has left you or not. 

David Ha Melech said in Tehillim 23 “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me”. But how do you know that?! BECAUSE He hasn’t dazzled me with His Light. He instead taught me to read His every feature in the dark, and I’m not scared anymore. He scared my fears away when darkness fell on me, because He taught me everything is smoke and mirrors. The only truth there is, is that HE IS and even better than anything else HE IS with me. 

Does that mean I never get scared again? No. I have learned about myself that I don’t doubt His ability to do one thing or another. I fear my ability to still believe if He doesn’t. I fear losing hope. I fear losing faith. I doubt me, not Him. But when that happens, you know what? I remember that I’ve learned Him in the dark. I remember my training. And I pull on the frailest hope I find within me and turn it into the power to say “This is not real… He is.” I don’t trust my faith to take me home. My faith is fickle. I don’t have faith in my faith. He will take me home. And that’s the only truth I know.  


Bat Melech בת מלך
 Cristina כריסטינה

Thursday, May 11, 2017

To give or not to give



I like animated movies. I think I’ve seen most of them out there and as soon as one comes out I am there to see it. Some think that’s rather unbecoming for a woman of 35 years of age, but if I haven’t stressed it enough in my articles, I’ll say it again, I have no excuse, I am just weird. 

Anyway, like I said I like animated movies and my favorite one, because of course I have a favorite, is Kung Fu Panda. For some reason I see myself in that fat panda more than I can say. I can quote it better than The Bible which is nothing to brag about, but there you have it. 

I was watching the 3rd one for maybe the 5th time a few days ago and there is a quote in there that I really love. To get the whole idea, the master decided to let the panda teach kung fu, but the panda is really bad at it and does a lousy job. The master comes to ask him how it went and the panda says “I don’t know why you ever thought I could teach that class!” The master replies “Oh, I knew you couldn’t.” The panda is shocked and says “What?! You set me up to fail? Why?” and the master replies: “If you only do what you can, you will never be more than you are now.”

For some reason it made me think of the widow’s offering in Mark 12. Do not ask me why I connected the two because I have no explanation for the way my twisted mind works. 

“And he sat down opposite the treasury and watched the people putting money into the offering box. Many rich people put in large sums. And a poor widow came and put in two small copper coins, which make a penny. And he called his disciples to him and said to them, “Truly, I say to you, this poor widow has put in more than all those who are contributing to the offering box. For they all contributed out of their abundance, but she out of her poverty has put in everything she had, all she had to live on.” – Mark 12:41-44

I know people like to use this passage especially before offerings in Church, but I don’t think it’s about the money, I think it’s the principle of giving. Whether that is money, or patience, or grace, or empathy, or help, etc. It’s about the giving. Giving from something you can’t afford because you don’t have much of it for yourself. 

I am not a patient person, nor extremely kind. I am poor in those areas. I have barely enough to live on. On the other hand I know people that have such a generous nature that to me they’re up there with Mother Theresa . I know people that have the most patient nature and when I am next to them I seem like the Tasmanian devil (the cartoon). They have been blessed with a lot. I have barely enough to survive and in order to have those attributes I have to work really hard on my character. If I exhibit patience in a situation it’s because I am choosing to give my last two coins. If I speak without using sarcasm even though I am faced with ridiculous arguments, that’s me giving my last 2 coins. For some people it could be peacefulness, humility, love, selflessness, etc. We all have areas where we are poor, but that’s alright. Because if you chose to give what you yourself need to survive on, in Adonai’s world you gave more than those who have it in abundance. What matters is to give. To go beyond what you can do, because like the quote I used said: “If you only do what you can, you will never be more than you are now.”

Just a thought…

Bat Melech בת מלך
 Cristina כריסטינה